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John Q Rhonstedt

Julien Beasley's personal favorite flame of all time.[1]

1) DO I think that bison is an unbeatable god? 
2) Am I from a school other than U of I or california? 
3) Does my name start with Rashee and end with d?   
4) Do I have a lame name like Stilt man because ed Fuckface sounds retarded? 

I still laugh when I read this, 13 years later!

--Julien Beasley

Allen J Klown

Allen J Klein, a poster who had never played SFA2, had been aggravating a lot of people on a.g.sf2 with his ideas that alpha counters were just like dragon punches. One day, there was a thread about SFA2 and what was wrong with it. [2]

Allen J Klein was arguing with Bob Painter about ACs and DPs. Julien Beasley posted a fake Allen J Klein reply in the middle of the conversation to stir the pot:[3]

A lot of people fell for it. Tom Cannon's reply was an instant classic.[4]

You do realize the difference between fact and opinion, yes?  You can't 
just mix and match tidbits, some of them _years_ old, and magically fit 
them together into a cohesive argmument like some crazy jigsaw-puzzle. 
Bob says that SFA2 is a decent game, and Chris says that SFA and SFA2 have 
the same gameplay (and I suspect that you're taking that out of context 
anyway), therefore it is *FACT* that SFA is a decent game as well.  Yup. QED. 

AmcMahon fell for it too.[5]

You STUPID FUCK! Play the GOD DAMN GAME FIRST for crying out 
loud. Do you honestly think everyone on the internet is retarded. Do you 
think all the posts about the cr. fierces and other anti-air moves were 
because they all lacked the skill to play. WAKE UP MORON.

--Julien Beasley

Stiltman vs Seth after B4.

Stiltman has been claiming for years that he's anything other than a complete scrub. After B4, his own locals turn on him! A great moment, when years of weaseling and lies come face to face with cold, hard, facts.

The thread starts here:[6]

A classic Seth piece here:[7]

You are again revealed as a terrible braying ass.  
Can you stop yourself from doing it again?  Somehow I doubt it...

Another gem[8]

The above is a blatant lie designed as a cover story for your terrifying ignorance 
(revealed yet again), and an obvious one at that.

A T-Shirt for Stiltman[9]

I'm going to get a shirt made up for your inagural tournament 
appearance: "I'm the guy who *gives the most trouble* to a player who 
was once mentioned favorably by ARTURO SANCHEZ! (the guy who got 4th 
at the tournament in question!)".  Wear it with pride, Stilt.  Your 
years of relentless SF play have finally been vindicated.  Welcome 
to the winners circle- you've earned it, baby
Congratulations.  Looking back over your long 
career, being able to say that really makes it all worthwhile.   
Stiltman:  now better than average mall scrubs!  A worthy epithet. 

--Julien Beasley

Seth Vs Stiltman Redux

It never ends! Stiltman goes to california[10]

You have *routinely* shamed yourself on this
group- perhaps more consistently and thoroughly than anyone in it's
long history of distinguished morons.  That you're still here at all
after the deeply shameful ass-reaming you took during the Storm thread
(which I cite only because of it's complete, unequivocal embarrassment
of you) shows only that, really, you have no shame.  Your typically
half-assed, euphemism-heavy account of your Sacramento trip is only
the latest chapter.

I lost because of peeing.

Hungry? Get a fucking taco.  And the bathroom?  I know it can be an ordeal
trying to find your dick, but just take your moms advice, and continue
to pee sitting down.  You'll do fine.  
       That you would *even* try to float something like this really
just boggles the mind.  I seriously come close to pitying someone so
pathetic.  You actually cite your inability to perform the most basic
functions necessary to staying alive as the reason behind your inability
to perform at a videogame?  wtf.  Even more stupid is that you'd try and
give these reasons to *tournament players*.  These are people who
*routinely* fly cross country, stand in arcades for 12+ hours a day,
eat complete crap or nothing, get essentially zero sleep, and still
defeat the top players in the country, by sheer force of will.  But
your excuse (and it *is* an excuse- please don't let yourself be
confused) is that you had to take a piss, and couldn't be bothered
to go next door to take 10 minutes and eat.


Original 1996 thread (where's the first post?)[11]

1999 follow up and repost (Milo vs JamesM)[12]

This needs to be cleaned up. Lots of gems in here. Milo, Seth, James Margaris, and the classing MISTing itself

--Julien Beasley

Ming vs Milo

A true classic[13]

Milo "D" Cooper is an arrogant pseudo-intellectual 
who is trying to show off some of his simple understanding of synonyms 
which allowed him to score 600 on the verbal section of the SAT, a score 
which he considers exemplary--- but misuses this word and many other words 
in such a way which clearly casts light on his *lack* of knowledge and 
understanding of the subtler nuances of the words he brandishes and parades 
before us "less intellectually worthy individuals" as he would the emperor's 
new clothes. 

How, exactly, is this example 
supposed to illustrate that you are NOT a pseudo-intellectual poseur 
who mashes the meaning of his sentences by choosing inappropriate words 
and grammar which serve only to demonstrate his own inadequate command of 
language??  Hmmmm???  

- -Julien Beasley

James M vs Julien

Julien and James M get into a fight.[14]

James starts out by pointing out the subtle distinction between a fight that goes 
9.999995 - 0.000005 and one that goes 99 - 1. Thanks James! We'll be sure to 
keep that in mind in future rankings charts. For free? Hell no! It's 9.999995 
- 0.000005. And if you dispute that fact, James will be happy to prove it 
next time you are the Northeast by doing tricky sequences that make judicious 
use of the tiger knee.

--Julien Beasley

Tony Cannon skewers Stiltman

After a long argument between Milo and Stiltman regarding the merits of Storm[15]c,

Tony Cannon posts a most thorough reaming [16]

You say things like "In 1995" and
"Before everyone was on the net" as if somehow the length of time you've
been playing the game should somehow give credence to your lame and
pathetic arguments.